Ari's Planet

There are three manly sports in Mongolia: wrestling, archery, and horse racing. But the most popular sport in Ulaanbaatar (UB) is dodge car. The rules of the game are simple and are laid out below, along with gameplay tips for beginners.

Players: There are two types of player: car and pedestrian. Any number of players may participate.

Rules: The cars own the road and will not yield; their goal is to drive as fast as possible, without actually colliding with anything, while honking their horns. Pedestrians attempt to cross from one side to the other (ask the chicken why) without serious injury. Policemen, who look like soldiers, may hang around and pretend to regulate the flow of cars and pedestrians. A pedestrian sighted by a policeman attempting to cross at an unauthorized site (i.e, not at a crosswalk) may be whistled at and lose points.

Tips for play: Beginner pedestrians are advised to wait at a curb for a group of more experienced players and follow them along as they cross the road, typically halting in the middle to deal with the opposite direction of traffic. Experienced players generally look like Mongolians. If you're not sure what a Mongolian looks like just think of those portraits of Genghis Khan you saw in 5th grade, but dress him in a shirt and jeans, optionally accessorized with sunglasses and a cellphone, instead of armor and a helmet. Following other beginners, who can be recognized by such features as pale skin (Westerners) or non-Mongol features, may result in termination of play. Beginners should also not attempt to emulate young teenage boys with bleached hair, as they have other concerns than just crossing the road. Beginners are advised not to attempt to play the car driver role, but may have a chance to observe a driver as a passenger (a passenger being one who sits in the vehicle attempting to understand any of the sounds coming from the driver, while wondering why there are no seatbelts as the vehicle slaloms around obstacles).