Ari's Planet

A friend asked if I was feeling fatigued from travel, which I'm not, but I am annoyed at the lying scumbags you constantly run into. Getting more used to them and more rapidly categorizing each scam. It's stupid, if you take away the words it goes something like (in their head): oh look, a walking sack of money, I will tell it crazy things and super-insane prices and it will vomit money at my feet. While, in my head: oh look, another stupid local seeing me as a sack of money ready to vomit money at its feet, it's definitely going to say some stupid lies and then say some stupid price and I'm going to smile at it the whole time going la la la no money from me la la la. They really like my hat, to them it means "walking sack of sucker money"; what they don't know is I'm Israeli, and they the suckers! (They fear Israelis 'cause we don't take shit from them.) Why the Lonely Planet goes on about some misguided sense of charity? Bargain prices to rock-bottom, believe me, they're already starting at stupid tourist prices. In Nepal, dal bhat, the staple food, costs about 40 to 60 Rs and tea runs maybe 3 Rs for locals, so even "cheap" tourist places are already overcharging you. For tourists, a banana pancake should be around 50 Rs, not 100. For heaven's sake, please do not pay the stupid 30 Rs some places want for bottled water: stick to 15 Rs. Whatever stupid price they quote you, reply with a similarly stupid low price and see what happens. There's always another cabbie, another store.

I had a bit of fun with the cabbies when I arrived off the bus in Sunaura, gateway to Chitwan NP. As soon as I exited, no actually before I exited--one intrepid cabbie climbed into the bus--I was surrounded by some 10-20 cabbies. Being a solo traveler really marked me out. I ignored them, climbed to the top to unlock my bag, got my bag, and they're like all shouting around me. I try to ignore them as I take my bag out of its protective nylon sack. Then I have to dig for my Nepali LP. Yes, this part was stupid, when I packed my bag I stuffed my Nepal LP guidebook inside. Some of them touch me, just to get attention, but unacceptable. I sternly say "no touch". Finally my book is out, and they're shouting and shoving and pushing to get my attention. I have no intention of paying any attention until I have decided which lodge to stay at. Finally I shout: BACK OFF! I WILL WALK AND NOT TAKE A CAB! (I mean it, I don't bluff.) This gets their attention. Some back off. Some keep on pestering me. I move to another shaded spot, where the ritual is repeated, one of them styling himself my "protector" which I quickly shoot down. I point out that I understand they're just trying to make a living, but that they have to keep their distance; this seems to help a bit. Finally they get the point and move off. Sitting in a circle, they make occassional hurt jokes at my expense. How pathetic. I find a decent sounding place by the river, say its name, and instantly one of the men who works for the lodge comes forward and offers a ride, which I accept.

In Kathmandu you can get a custom-embroidered shirt. One of the samples in some of the stores reads something like "No hash, no one ruppee, no money, no rickshaw". That about sums it up.